| packing... |
[22 Apr 2008|10:26pm] |
so i head home tomorrow....my 1st year of college is already over. weird. but i'm very excited to head home....i miss miami and my family and my best friend....i just need a break from school, tests, waterpolo, gainesville....i need to be home.
lets take a look at whats up with my life at the moment....
school: tomorrow i take my last test of my freshman year! i'm about 95% sure i got straight A's this semester and i'm very proud of myself!! i'm so glad i will never live in a dorm again! a break is greatly needed.
waterpolo: we kicked ass this year! i started a lot, played a lot, scored a bunch...and did really well overall. we made it to nationals!! but i cant go bc i'm broke and my mom is going to London so i have to look over the house, paige and the office. :[
finances: i'm broke and will be working all summer.
car: i have 2...they found the escort and now i have the cruiser....so i'm gonna have to sell one (hopefully the escort but we'll see). i'm gonna need to spend money to fix the escort so i can sell it...ugh thats life.
love: ha...i mean come on it's me. its impossible for things to go well. one guy is afraid of commitment and basically wants to get laid without being tied down....not gonna fly. another just started talking to me again...which is nice and we'll see how that goes. and lastly...i hate that i have to continually remind myself that i hate this one guy....i get a bad feeling in my stomach when i see him with another girl...but i cant figure out why. he's an ass. i hate him. he doesnt deserve to be in my life...why cant i just forget he's alive.
summer goals: make money, run 6 days a week (gym if i can afford it), no fast food or soda, get another tattoo....more to come
maybe i'll start updating regularly....we'll see
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| fact. |
[21 Nov 2007|12:33pm] |
once a boyfriend becomes and ex....they should fall off the face of the planet for good.
who's with me?
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| his loss...his loss...his loss... |
[21 Feb 2007|11:46pm] |
"this guy, well i doubt he exists
at one time
i whole heartedly believed this guy existed
hell, i was convinced i'd found him
but with every passing day
i realize
his every breath
his every move
contradicts what i thought he stood for
who i thought he was
and it makes me realize
that i cant be right
because the person i thought he was
he no longer is
but
i'm a hopeless romantic
so maybe he's just pretending."
dont read old IMs....and old pictures are worse.
:/ i hate nostalgia
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| oh and you might want to keep this in mind |
[07 Dec 2006|09:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
she's a vindictive little bitch under it all
and i dont think you want to play this game
you can be mean
but she can be malicious
you give paper cuts
she soaks them in alcohol
she knows what buttons to push
and just how hard
you play to get revenge
she plays to kill
proceed with caution
one wrong move and it's all over
ever get so mad....you want anyone to get in your face so you can explode?
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| 810 |
[28 Nov 2006|07:43pm] |
livejournal
you are so good to me
thank you.
:]
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| subtle pulsing |
[11 Oct 2006|01:36am] |
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i'm just gonna write. type. think. breath. in. out. in. out. no more erasing. just let it out. i want to run away, not because things are bad but because i know they can be better. why cant i get in my car and just drive. away. into the night and penetrating the early morning. what is this demon that stops me. i want to watch the sunrise from high up. stare. no smile. no hate. nothing. glazed eyes. amazement. nothing makes it stop. nothing makes it disappear. i cant control it. no matter what i do. the sun will rise. the sun will set. in. out. in. out. lifes natural pattern. cookie cutter life. time to go on the roof. scream. cry. anything. give up foods that are orange. wake up to warmth. stare. move to be touched. pull. hold. closer. longer. hold. hold. hold. sleep to wake not to dream. live. good or bad it's living. it's reassuring. in. out. in. out. no more social graces. honesty. deception. lie to yourself. trust the dishonest. lie to clouds. no one can stop you. judge me. do it now. take as long as you need. i'll be here. always here for you to judge. write what you think of me on a piece of paper and watch me burn it. let me eyes burn your soul. in out in out. press harder. pain is love. start from the end. up down in out. eyes open all the time. closed only to feel. feel the sheets. the rough. the vulnerable. make it hurt. make it easy. live. cry because you cant make the sun go back down. show up. surprise. always hiding. no such thing as honest. no one ever sees the same thing. ever. everything is original. in in out. be too eager. fumble stumble fall to the ground. sing of fairy tales and lullabies. only experience makes you innocent. naive is the make up that covers the face of a jaded girl with no heart. in. out. read. listen. look. hold your breath. listen over and over. read again and again. watch the meaning change. hear the words melt into one another. let the flowers grow. take a picture. say goodbye but never mean it. love cant be stopped. a car at 110. flipping over and over. nostalgia. in. out. in. nights and days i can never remember because i'm too human to try. images forgotten. faces blurred. information yearning to be remembered. say sorry to may 7th. i dont remember you. sorry. sorry. take everything into account. do it on a whim. daily. twist and turn. start over. never stop. lay in silence. hearts pounding. together. apart. remember. wait. in out in out in. break. make the same mistake til you learn. i'll never learn. my mistakes are now what i live on. nothing's good without them. wait. in out. waste time. cherish it. rollercoaster. time and time again. you wait in line. you want it. feel alive here and now. subtle pulsing.
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| song on repeat |
[27 Sep 2006|09:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 scared |
] |
| [ |
music |
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i miss you - incubus |
] |
To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?
I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
open your fucking mouth
tell me how you feel
save this before
i try and fix it
fuck.
my life is gonna change
dramatically
do you want to be in it?
fuck.
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| "***** *** and ****" |
[24 Sep 2006|12:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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nervous |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none |
] |
oh mannnnnnn
i submitted my UF application today
i'm nervous
now all i can do is wait
2 months and 20 days.....(ish)
wish me luck
i REALLY hope i get in
:/
<<33justine
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| i'm shaking slowly to the beat |
[20 Sep 2006|04:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
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world hold on - bob sinclar |
] |
hahahahaha
hahahahaha
hahahahaha
i laugh
:]
probably wont last long....but it's better than being confused and sad all the time.
hooray for finishing up my UF essay....time for quick revision and i'm DONE!
my application will be in before the end of the weekend. :]
damn right...it's very exciting!
no homework = justine's best friend
oh man i'm gonna write a lot tonight...i feel it
tomorrow is gonna kick ass.
early release
all my BS classes.
i'm gonna go read for a little
maybe nap
ahhhh the options are endless
sleeping tonight?
ehhh dont feel like it!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA
listen to music til the sun rises?
maybe
longest post?
maybe
most words?
not
screw you
i danced all day at school
i love my iPod
the new principal isnt all that bad
we'll see though
time to work hard on yearbook
the hardest part is upon me
:/
horray for getting college stuff out of the way early!
sushi tomorrow
world hold on - bob sinclar ( i love the whistling in that song)
ok time to go
or is it?
yea it is
i think some one's home
haha
this is fun
i cant wait for december
no longer nervous
well not right now at least
just excited
hooray for my birthday!
peace hoe.
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| to call or not to call.... |
[19 Sep 2006|08:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nick has my iPod :[ |
] |
2 hours of drive time
10 minutes in the pool
swim meet cancelled bc of lightening and thunder
what a waste of my life!
time to buckle down and finish my UF essay
i hope i'm making the right decision in applying early decision
wish me luck!
only 12 weeks til i know if i got in.....lets start the countdown.
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| and to think.... |
[18 Sep 2006|12:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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coldplay - poliyik |
] |
two years ago today....was one of the happiest days of my life.
these will be the most painful 24 hours to get through all year.
it's not fair.
but hey, thats life.
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| watching garden state tonight? i think so. |
[16 Sep 2006|12:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 dorky |
] |
| [ |
music |
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chelsea - stefy |
] |
ah i saw "the last kiss" and i cant say i hated it but oh man....it made me angry. it was honest. so i guess it was good in that aspect....but i guess it kinda hit close to home so it made me sad and angry and just.....it was draining! idk i liked it and didnt all at the same time....chances are i'll end up buying it when it comes out on DVD
haha amazing the people you see....such a small world....the girl that was possibly responsible for making me relate to the movie was sitting only a few rows ahead of me. *sigh* i guess it's just best to think it happened so that i can just move on. agreed? i think so.
ugh i cant find this yearbook CD i need.....so i spent all this time after school installing programs on to my MAC and now....USELESS. ugh....upsetting.
paige and i took over 100 pics in the car on the way to the movies....hahahaha it was so funny.
mariella and i might fast for 3 days. we were talking about the benefits of fasting in cruz's class and we decided we want to do it together. now we just have to decide when.
i think i have straight A's except for gov....but i'm working on it. so i'm happy about that. :]
UF application is 95% done....just gotta submit it with the essay. WEIRD. i'm nervous about getting in.....i guess whatever happens....thats what was supposed to happen. so i cant stress that much.
i want to finish my boook! i like it but i'm really busy so i dont have much time to read.... :/
yearbook is going well. i'm excited about it. i have to work on some design stuff by tuesday. pick a visual....just stuff
i'm doing yoga now. i <3 it. i think i'm gonna go tomorrow morning. it would be a nice way to start the day. the only thing i dont like about it is the humming and weird noises stuff....not into that.....haha so i just pretend i'm doing it
i'm gonna start training for basketball by myself soon....i'm exicted to play this year. i want us to win! i'll be mad if we dont.
i think i make myself too available sometimes....idk thats just who i am i guess.
i love my mac. :]
i need to work. YUCK. but i'm gonna do it. responsibily sucks.
12 weeks til i know if i got into UF or not.....AHHH :/
A on my gov and english test?? i think so. fuck yea i'm awesome. :]
SHIT i have to work on flvs.....fuck.. thats what i should do on sunday or tomorrow.
justine = insecure....who would of guessed?
can you be insecure and confident at the same time?? bc i am......yea i'm just weird like that.
dave matthews always makes me smile. hooray for great music
ok well i think i'm gonna go watch a movie or sleep or read or talk or go on the roof...
goodnight.
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| my throat feels funny |
[14 Sep 2006|06:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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n/a |
] |
first place in all of my events???? yes i think so
same goes for stephanie!
you should be proud of us.
fuck i do not want to go to school today....i want to sleep.
i cant wait for friday.
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| oh man |
[13 Sep 2006|02:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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n/a |
] |
ignorance is bliss.
pretend it never happened.
let it go
again.
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